Anguish
This is Chapter Thirty Six of Danganronpa: Anguish & Desire, Fallen Time!. In this chapter, another daunting class trial is underway, a traitor is revealed, and a decision is made. Author's Note: me releasing two chapters in a month? a concept ---- “Let’s begin the class trial with a basic explanation of the rules, shall we? You guys will participate in the class trial, using the evidence you found throughout the investigation to determine the blackened, the person who killed Rai Kitoaji, the Ultimate Screenplay Writer. If you get it correct, you all live! Hooray! But, the blackened will be executed! If you get it wrong, everyone will be executed besides the blackened, and that person can leave! Now, this class trial is also different, since the blackened is also the traitor who has helped me trap all of you in here! If you get it right, then you can leave this school, no strings attached.” “Then let’s get it over with,” Azama says. “We already know who the traitor is!” “You do?” MonoMech asks. “Then let’s vote--!” “No.” “Why not?” Shiomi asks, hiding his face in his scarf. “It’s obvious.” “Oh y-yeah?” Satoshi asks. “Who is it?” “It’s Ken,” Nakata says, and both Azama & Shiomi nod their heads. “At least, that’s where all of the evidence points.” … “Evidence? What evidence?” Tomori asks. “Just think about it,” Nakata says. “Ken was the only one who lost his memories.” “That doesn’t mean anything!” Satoshi exclaims. “Satoshi, if it’s not him, you’re the next likely culprit,” Shiomi says. “Be quiet for a moment.” Satoshi cowers, and I step forward. “He’s right, though. None of us remember how we got here. It wasn’t just me.” “No, but, you forgot your name, and you’ve mentioned before that you didn’t remember most of your past,” Shiomi says. “Why only you? Why--?!” “It’s too much not to be coincidence,” Azama says. “It HAS to be you!” Azama is...so desperate. Why? Why is she so desperate to pin this on me?! Does she really think--does she really think I could kill Rai? That I’d betray everyone here? “As suspicious as that is, it doesn’t incriminate him for killing the cutie with the blonde hair,” Tomori says. The cutie with the blonde hair…? Is that a reference to something? “I’d never--never do anything to hurt you guys,” I mumble. “What’d you say?” Shiomi asks. “I’d never betray you guys--! So, why?! Why do you keep insisting it’s me?!” “Ken…” Satoshi calls out for me, but I’ve already hid my face in my shirt. Why won’t they believe me…? Why won’t--? Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Ken--Ken, stop. They won’t believe you if you hide yourself. Please, stop, collect yourself. Take a deep breath, and face them. You have to do this yourself. I take a deep breath, swallow any guilt or fear that’s coming up, and pull my face out of my shirt. “I don’t feel sympathy for traitors,” Azama says. … I ignore her remark, and turn to Tomori. “I couldn’t have done it.” “I know, Rabbit.” “You don’t know shit--!” Azama exclaims. “It has to be Ku-chan. You don’t understand, Tomori.” “What don’t I understand?” “If we vote for him, it’s all over. We can go home! Isn’t that what you wanted? You were willing to KILL Shimazaki before for it, so why are you hesitating now?!” “We can’t make a wrong decision here,” she says. “I’m willing to stand here and talk for hours if it means we get this right.” Tomori...thank you. I’m glad to have met you in here. When no one else believed in me, you did. I’ll always remember this. “It’s true that Ken is the most obvious pick for the traitor,” Satoshi says, shoving his hands into his sweatshirt pockets. “But there’s nothing that ties him to killing Kitoaji--!” “Oh really?” Shiomi asks. “Let’s not ignore that Ken was with Kitoaji all night. He could’ve easily killed ‘em, dragged them upstairs, and left them by the door!” “No, that’s wrong. There’s no doubt that the struggle took place in Classroom 4-A,” I say. “That much is obvious just from the bloodtrail and the note.” “The note?” Satoshi asks. Azama scoffs. “What note?” “This is what happens when you make up your mind BEFORE investigating,” Tomori says, shrugging her shoulders. She quickly looks to Satoshi. “Not you, you’re good.” “Before we discuss the note,” Nakata says, raising her hand. “We need Ken’s account for the night, okay.” … “I suppose so,” Tomori says, before looking to me. “Do it, Rabbit. You need to prove your own innocence.” I just nod. “I know.” “It’s all still hazy, but--but after Rai took me back to my room last night, they drugged me.” “Kitoaji drugged you?” Satoshi asks, and I see his eyes widen a little. “W-Why?!” “I don’t know,” I say. “Rai left to get water for us, and when I drank mine--I immediately lost consciousness.” “That explains why you were so sick this morning,” Satoshi says. “Ew, was that the vomit in front of my door from?” Azama asks, shivering. “That’s gross.” “I’m sorry.” “Does she have a nice bone in your body?” Satoshi asks himself under his breath. “It also explains this,” Nakata says, reaching into her pockets, and pulling out a bottle of pills. The pills are lableless. “This was on Kitoaji’s person, though I’m unsure what they are.” “When I saw Kitoaji last night, they claimed they were for their migraines,” Tomori says. Shiomi tilts his head. “You saw Kitoaji last night?” “It was right before Ken’s story,” she continues. “Only for a moment.” “How do we know it *wasn’t* for Kitoaji’s migraines? That proves nothing.” “That doesn’t, but the note could,” I say, showing everyone the note. “I have no reason to send this note to myself, no?” “meeet me in classroom 4 at 3:30. i know it’s you.” “Where’d you find this?” Azama asks. “Is this why you asked me to bring my notebook?” Shiomi asks. “In that classroom, and yes,” I say. “If we find out who wrote this note to me, than we found out who Rai met up with--and we find the traitor!” “Let me see it,” Shiomi says, and he steadily runs around the stage to take the note. “Huh…?” “What’s wrong?” Nakata asks. “This is--!” He steadily flips through his notebook, and brings himself to a page. “I knew it. I knew it.” “What is it?” Satoshi asks. He turns his notebook over to show the two of us first. Right next to some lyrics to a song entitled ‘''Heatstroke''’ that Shiomi was working on, is a little annotation that matches the handwriting of the note. There, it says, ‘i have SO many ideas for a music video. let me direct it, shiomi!!’ Wait--? “Is this...Kitoaji’s handwriting?” Satoshi asks. “Let me see,” Azama says, and before I know it, the three girls are now crowded around the notebook. “Holy shit…” Rai sent this note…? What does this mean? After everyone settles down, they returned to their podium, and there was a strange silence. “So, it’s not about *who* wrote the letter, but about *who* the letter went to?” Shiomi asks. “But it doesn’t make sense if Kitoaji wrote this,” Azama says. “That means it can’t be Ku-chan.” Tomori clicks her tongue. “Yeah, no shit.” “So Kitoaji sent this note to the traitor than?” Satoshi asks. “It also lines up with the time of death on the MonoMech file.” “It’d make no sense for Rai to send this to me,” I say. “Can we at least agree on that?” “So...it’s not Ken?” Nakata asks. “Sorry to break it to you, but no,” Tomori says. Rai…? Rai, why--why did you do this?! Why would you call the traior out all alone--?! “What about me?! You’re going on and on about how you’d sacrifice yourself, but what about me?! I’ve lost everything here, you’re the only one left. If you really are doing this to protect me, then be there for me--don’t just give up.” How could you be so selfish, Rai? You-you did what you made me feel guilty for trying to do. How could you do this to me?! What about ME, Rai? I lost Yuka, Sasada, Yosano--you were the only reason I had left to live. I needed you to be here for me, just like you claimed I needed to be there for you. Yet, you selfishly left this world. You left me behind to fight the traitor on your own--?! Why couldn’t you let me join you?! Azama suddenly looks to me, and, pouts. “Be less suspicious next time, Ku-chan.” “S-Sorry?” “I hate that chick,” Satoshi mumbles under his breath. I shake my head clear of all these thoughts about Rai. “Tomori.” “Yes, Rabbit?” “Can you be honest with me right now?” She nods. “It’s time.” “Nakata claimed that she saw you enter my room, and that later on there was no one in there. I woke up under my bed last night, so that’d explain that...but what happened last night?” Shiomi, Satoshi, and Azama all dramatically turn to listen to Tomori’s story, but I feel Nakata’s eyes linger on me. I bet she was really hoping it was me--I bet deep down she still believes it’s me. “I’ve got nothin’ to hide,” she says. “I’ll tell ya everythin’.” Kitoaji had told me that to get into Ken’s room last night, I had to knock five times on his door. It was around two or three in the morning, and I couldn’t sleep. I was...nervous. Nervous that as I slept, someone was going to take advantage of Kitoaji and Rabbit and kill them. So I went to check on them. I knocked five times, like I was asked. The door opened almost immediately. Kitoaji stumbled out, their stare blank...everything about them was so emotionless. It was...actually scary. For a moment, I thought Kitoaji had called me out to kill them, but Kitoaji just...walked past me. “Where are you going?” “I’ll be back.” I regretted not being able to save Sasada, Saishi, Yuka. So, I did something stupid. I grabbed Kitoaji by the shoulder and shoved ‘em against the wall. Their eyes sharpened, and I felt the rage emitting from their body. “Let me go,” Kitoaji mumbled. “Don’t make me do anything I’ll regret.” I could feel that Kitoaji was going to do something fucking stupid. Fight Nakata? That’s what popped into my mind at the time. “Listen, you--!” But, that was all I could say. I heard what sounded like choking coming from inside the room. I instantly let Kitoaji go and sprinted into the room. There, I saw Rabbit convulsing--or, I don’t know what you were doing. Your body was shaking and you were sweating really badly. It was like you were having trouble breathing. “Stay with him for a bit,” Kitoaji called out. “Lock the door, won’t ya?” With that, Kitoaji closed the door, and left me with Rabbit. I stayed with him until he looked to get better, and, then I went to go look for Kitoaji. “And that’s it,” she says, crossing her arms. “So, what, is that supposed to be your alibi, too?” Azama asks. “You had a similar one with Yuka and you were still the attacker! It doesn’t mean shit.” “I don’t care what ya think,” she says. “Kitoaji knows the truth, and so does Rabbit, I hope.” I nod, and Satoshi nods to himself. “Me too! Don’t forget about me!” “I’d never, kiddo.” “That’s a lie!” Nakata suddenly exclaims. “When I went there last night there wasn’t anyone there--!” … Why is she keeping this up? Because… ...Nakata isn’t telling us the full truth. “No, you’re lying,” I retort. “Not Tomori.” “W-What…?” “You told me before you saw Tomori enter my room, right?” I ask. “Why didn’t you mention Rai was with her--!” She sighs. “I didn’t wanna mention seein’ the victim, that’s all.” “But...why not? If you’re innocent then that should be no big deal,” Shiomi sing-songs from the side. “Ooh. That’s a good rhythm.” Nakata shoots him a glare, and he hides back in his scarf. “Nah, Nakata’s tellin’ the truth, too.” I look gently to Tomori. “What…?” “I heard her pickin’ at the lock in the middle of the night, and…” ...ah, right. “You moved me under the bed?” She nods, but then runs her hands over her hips. “It was so hard for me to fit, though. I’m too big.” Satoshi hangs his head and practically facepalms. “She’s gross.” “Keep rubbin’ it in…” Azama sighs. Tomori begins chuckling to herself. “Keep ogling, keep lookin’ on with jealousy! This is what the Ultimate Model looks like!” Nakata shakes her head. “I would’ve heard you--or him--if he was acting as you said.” Tomori smirks. “He was better by that point...but, yeah, it was hard keeping him quiet. He was breathing really heavily.” “How’d you get him to stop?” Shiomi asks. … Tomori stares at the five of us, before scratching the back of her neck. “Pass.” … “What does that even mean?” I ask. “Who knows? Let’s move on!” she says. “So there ya have it, Nakata. Now answer: Why didn’t you say anything about Kitoaji?” “Did you get the note?” Satoshi asks. Nakata clicks her tongue, then bites her lower lip. “I did not receive any note from Kitoaji. However, I did see them. I refused to say anything because I’m quite disappointed in myself. I was so dead-set on the traitor being Ken--I couldn’t protect, nor could I save Kitoaji. I was in the best position to make sure Kitoaji could walk out of here alive, and catch the traitor in action, yet I failed.” “And then I saw that Ken had disappeared from his room, and that was the natural connection,” she continues. “If Ken wasn’t accounted for, Kitoaji was deceased, and the traitor was the killer...it made sense.” “Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Tomori says, before coughing. “Not hating on it, I do the same.” ...that’s sad. But, yeah, I do the same. “So, we’re back to nothing,” Shiomi says, gripping his chest. “Is one of us really the traitor?” “The next thing we should look at would be the murder weapon,” Nakata says. “Whoever had access to it is the probably traitor.” “I see, I see. Makes sense--” Satoshi pauses, and there’s a brief silence. “--wait, no!” … “Can you stop messing with my boys?! First Rabbit, now Satoshi?!” “It does make sense, though,” Azama says. Satoshi shakes his head profusely. “W-Wait a minute! That doesn’t mean anything!” “Oh, what does it mean?” Nakata asks. “It means someone else could’ve used it! I’d never-never-never-never use my beloved gift to m-murder someone! That’s SO against everything I believe in!” “Someone else?” Shiomi asks. “Does that actually make any sense?” “‘Course it does!” Tomori exclaims. “Tell ‘em Satoshi!” Satoshi gazes back and forth, and Tomori leans in. “Did you not prepare an actual rebuttal?!” He shakes his head. “I knew someone would ask me but I-I’m bad under pressure!” “Well then that answers that,” Nakata says. “If he has nothing to say, and if no one else could use it--” ...wait. “Nakata, stop that line of thinking,” I say, and I can hear her bite her tongue from here. “It’ll get you nowhere.” I hear Satoshi take a deep sigh of relief beside me. “I can always count on you.” “What about me?!” Tomori exclaims. “What do you mean?” she asks, through gritted teeth. “Satoshi said before that he wasn’t sure if he left his door unlocked last night,” I say, and I see Satoshi nod his head beside me. “Not to mention, someone here has shown that they can get into locked rooms rather easily.” “Oh, who?” Nakata sarcastically asks. “Yeah, who?!” Shiomi excitedly asks. “You, Nakata,” I say. “You did it last night, and maybe a week ago with Sasada and Saishi. Plus, if the traitor is working with whoever has us captive, maybe they have a master key.” “A master key?” Azama asks, tugging at her dress. “Could make sense.” “Ah, before we continue, can I ask something?” Satoshi asks. “What is it?” I ask. “What happened with the body discovery announcement? That could be a clue.” “How so?” Nakata asks. “Well, the first three non-blackened to discover a body will trigger the body discovery announcement. Ken and I were in the hallway when it went off, and the four of you were all there already when we got there. What happened?” “Oh, I see,” Shiomi says, adjusting his glasses. “I got this!” “This is the easiest part…” Azama mumbles. “You see, I woke up and traversed into the hallway,” Shiomi starts. “Azama was just leaving at the same time, and we heard someone yell! We ran to the shouting, which was of course, Tomori’s voice -- as if we’d ever catch Nakata screaming -- and we saw Tomori and Nakata standing by poor Kitoaji’s body. The discovery announcement played after.” “At that time, Satoshi and I were in the hallway,” I reminisce. “What about you two?” Azamam asks. “I don’t remember how you guys got there?” “I smelt the blood,” Nakata bluntly says. “I already said I was looking for Kitoaji. I was the first person who found ‘em.” Satoshi frowns. “So that’ll be no help.” … “Yeah, any of the four could be the culprit,” I say. “It doesn’t narrow it down any.” “You say that, yet you have an idea, don’t you?” Nakata asks, narrowing her eyes. “I hear it in your voice.” “It’s nothing,” I mumble. I...don’t wanna say it. But, I’ve got my suspicions. I don’t wanna point my finger at them, but it’s the only thing that makes sense to me. … “I’m here with you. If you uncover the traitor here, this game ends. It’ll finally end.” I didn’t understand the meanings of those words then, but I do now. It’s for you, too. I look up to Satoshi, who watches me with big, pleading eyes. It’s like he’s telling me to end it. “Satoshi.” “Yes, Ken?” “It’s you, isn’t it? You’re the traitor.” I hear Tomori gasp. “Rabbit, what are you--?!” Satoshi puts one finger up, to silence Tomori, before turning back to me. … “Aw, you got it. I knew I could count on you.” … So, I was right, huh? “He got it…?” Azama asks. “So that means…?!” “Yup,” he says, taking a deep breath. “Sorry, I’m the traitor--the one who has been fooling all of you.” “Satoshi, why?!” Tomori asks. “Why’re you admitting it? Stop lying!” “I-I’m not lying, Tomori,” he says. His voice is shaking, and soon enough -- in typical Satoshi fashion -- tears start running down his face. “I’m sorry it’s come to this. I...wish we could’ve been closer before all this happened. I believe this game was the first time we spoke. I was always so...intimidated by you.” Huh…? “What do you mean--?” Tomori asks. “Obviously! We met here.” He shakes his head and falls to his knees. “It was hard having to act like I didn’t know any of you. It hurt so, so bad. But--! I had to--! She would’ve killed all of you--!” “What?” Nakata asks. “Who would’ve?!” He looks up, and then shakes his head. “No--! I said too much. She’ll kill you all if I say anything else--I can’t--I can’t--!” “Why…?” I ask. “Why did you betray us?” “I’d never--I’d never, EVER, betray you Ken...you have to believe me. I didn’t have a choice--!” Huh…?! “What about the rest of us?” Shiomi asks. “I did it for you guys,” he says. “You don’t understand--!” “Obviously not,” Azama says. “How can we understand if you don’t tell us?!” I ask. “Stop--!” Tomori shouts. Her voice echoes throughout the gymnasium, and even from where I stand, I can see she’s visibly shaking. With anger, with choked up tears--I don’t know. “Why’re you all believing him so easily…?! This is Satoshi we’re talking about! He’s a fucking coward. He wouldn’t do anything like this!” He just nods. “You’re right, I am a coward. I should’ve stopped this.” Tomori storms over to where Satoshi stands, and pulls him to his feet by the collar of his sweatshirt. “Why, then? Why?!” “She told me if I didn’t cooperate, she’d kill you--! How could I go against her?” He suddenly turns to MonoMech. “Kill me already, please--! They won--! If the traitor dies, they can leave, right?! So kill me--!” “They didn’t vote yet, my dear Satoshi,” MonoMech snickers. “Not even your beloved Ken has anything to say.” There’s a silence. “What did he say?” Nakata asks. I see Satoshi’s skin go pale. “No-No, list-listen. This isn’t--I’m not doing this.” “What does he mean?” Shiomi asks. … I don’t know what came over me, but I found myself beside Tomori, and forcing Satoshi to look at me. “Satoshi--please. What’s going on? I-I don’t understand.” “You don’t--no--! I can’t--! I-I-I can’t--!” … “I’m sorry, Satoshi.” “I-I-I--” I let go of him, and Tomori soon did the same, and Satoshi once again fell to the ground. He quickly became a blubbering mess. His body shook rapidly, and no one could calm him down. He wouldn’t respond to anything Tomori or I said, and a lot of time passed. I don’t know how much. Minutes? Hours? That’s what it felt like. It took time for Satoshi to calm down, but he did in Tomori’s arms, and when he finally regained his composure, he stood to his feet. It was weird seeing how...compassionate Azama and Shiomi were being. They were so hellbent on weeding out the traitor, and now that they have him...they’re silent, unnerved. Nakata just silently watched. She’s always wearing the same indifferent face. I can’t tell if she wants to snap his neck or if she’s trying to be patient with him. “Are you okay?” Tomori asks. “I’m better, thanks,” he says, his eyes glazed over. “I’m sorry, everyone. I’m sorry.” “Satoshi--” “I’ll handle this, Rabbit.” I nod, and Tomori rubs her chin. “What can you tell us?” “I can only tell you that...that I did this to save everyone. I tried to find a way with--with her. Yet, we failed, and I ended up here with you.” Her…? Who? He takes a deep breath. “I can also reveal this. The reason why Ken lost so many of his memories was so that-so that she can take me out.” Huh…?! “What does that mean?” I ask. “I tried...leaving you clues. Hoping you’d realize it. I guess I should’ve been more upfront.” “It’s a pleasure to meet you both, Saishi, Tsuda.” I said, shaking their hands. “Please, just call me Satoshi.” the Archer smiled. “It feels weird when *you* call me Tsuda.” “We’re childhood friends,” Satoshi continues, wearing a sad, nostalgic smile. “You stole my beloved arrows for me for my birthday, and we were on the same survival games team. We used to do parkour, too, and then when we got to Hope’s Peak, we did it with Shimazaki.” “We were always there for each other, Ken. It...hurt to see you not remember me. So I kept my distance. Yet, here we are. Here we are.” “What do you mean in Hope’s Peak?” Nakata asks. “We’ve only just met once we got here.” He doesn’t look at her. “I can’t answer that.” I...don’t know what to say. Satoshi is…? But...he killed Rai--?! Why…?! “I know you guys have so many questions,” Satoshi continues. “But...I can’t reveal much more. If you guys vote, and end this trial, then I’ll die and you guys can leave. Please...just do it.” “Why’d you kill Kitoaji?!” Shiomi asks. “Why…?!” He looks away from me. “Ken, I’m sorry. I didn’t have a choice.” …! S-Shut up--! Of course you did! “What happened?” I ask. I did as the note instructed. I was expecting Nakata, Tomori, maybe even you, Ken. But instead, Kitoaji was waiting for me. They wielded a kitchen knife, and, naturally, I drew my bow. We were at a stalemate for a couple of minutes before either of us spoke. “So...you came?” Kitoaji asked me. “H-How’d you know it was me?” Kitoaji scoffed. “I’ve done my fair share of directing. My attention to detail is perfect. It was written all over your face--! “You’ve got it wrong. You need to give me time to end this game.” “Give you time…?! Will you come clean? Clear Ken’s name?” I shook my head. “He has to deal with it a little longer. I’m going to get us out of here.” “He’s got a trained killer after him--!” Kitoaji exclaimed. “He doesn’t have that time.” “So do I. I’m going to end this.” “No--I will. If I kill you, we can get out of here.” “I won’t let you do that--not without letting me say goodbye. Ken and I have history.” Kitoaji grew red at that point. “I’m not letting you near him--!” I...acted impulsively. Kitoaji randomly came at me with the knife, and I panicked and fired an arrow. “The shot in Rai’s thigh…” He nods. “Y-Yeah.” Kitoaji yelled out in pain and--it was an accident! I was in shock--and, and Kitoaji just wanted to get away from me. They hobbled over to the exit, and before they could reach the keypad, Kitoaji fell over. They caught themself and sat back against the door...and cried out in pain. Part of me wanted to run and get Nakata--get someone to help Kitoaji. But...they had already lost too much blood; it wouldn’t have done anything. When I walked closer to Kitoaji, I heard them mumbling and whispering. “I won--Ken can go. I won. I won. I won.” I..get what Kitoaji wanted to do. Now I realized that it was their plan all along. Kitoaji wanted to force me to kill them so that I’d get executed in the trial, and so that you guys can leave. Then, I shot Kitoaji again, the kill shot. I put Kitoaji out of their misery. There wasn’t any malice, any hate. It was pity. As Satoshi finishes his story, he nearly collapses again, but catches himself with the stand. “There you have it,” Satoshi mumbles. “Happy, now?” Happy…? How could I possibly be happy?! “I...can’t believe it,” Azama says. “How do we know you’re not lying...!?!” Satoshi tilts his head. “Ken. Can you do me a favor?” I… “What?” “Confirm this, deny it, do whatever you want. I want to know.” “Know what?” “Your mother, Rise Kijmuta. That’s her name right?” “Y-Yes.” “I was there the night you received the news of your mother’s illness. I was there when you decided to attend Hope’s Peak to get money for her treatment.” “...where were we?” I ask. “The park.” … “So? Is he right?” Shiomi asks. I nod my head. “I’ve been wondering--why--why I couldn’t remember anything--!” “It was so you wouldn’t remember me,” he says. “I wasn’t strong enough to save everyone. I thought we could--!” “Who is the ‘we’?” Nakata asks. “Is there another traitor?” He shakes his head. “You need to save her! She still has her--!” “Satoshi…?” Tomori asks. “I’m sorry, guys. I really am--! But I need you guys to save her--!” “But…?!” Shiomi asks. “When I die, they’ll release you. Get help and save Ko--!” …! Satoshi’s pleas are suddenly cut off, as an arrow suddenly bursts through his chest. It was so surreal. He was in shock, and I could hear Azama scream and Shiomi gasp. Tomori blinked rapidly as blood his her shirt, and even Nakata’s mouth fell ajar. “Why…? Ken--Ken--I-I’m so-sor-ry.” I instantly regretted everything at that moment. Not forgiving Satoshi, not saying goodbye, not talking to him more. If I had, would have he been at peace? Would I have been able to figure out he was in trouble? As Satoshi fell to his knees, and then to the ground, his eyes glazed over and his heart stopped beating. “Sa--toshi…?” Tomori’s voice felt hoarse, and the two of us fell down next to him. “No, no, no, no--!” “What the hell was that?!” Azama yelled. “We didn’t even vote yet--we weren’t finished--!” I look over to MonoMech, who holds Satoshi’s bow in one hand. “I knew what the outcome would be.” “That doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want--!” As Azama and Shiomi started their attacks on MonoMech, my attention was pulled back to Tomori and Satoshi. “He’s...dead, no--! Why is he dead--?!” Tomori shook Satoshi’s cold, dead body by its shoulders. “You idiot--! Wake up, wake up--!” Satoshi… ...I’m sorry--! I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry--! “Now that the traitor is dead, you guys can leave,” MonoMech says. “I’ll give you the passcode to the door on the fourth floor and you can leave at your earliest convenience.” “Really?” Shiomi asks. “We can actually go…?” “Of course,” MonoMech says. I don’t trust this. Not one bit. “Then what is it?” Azama asks. “I don’t wanna spend another minute here.” “I’ll tell you, but…” There’s the ‘but’. “He has to stay with me.” I didn’t even have to look at MonoMech to know he was pointing at me. And, in that instant, Tomori was on top of me, shielding me from the robot. “No--! You can’t have him, too--! You’ve taken so much, I--I can’t let you take him too!” “Tomori, please. You need to get out of here.” “No--! I won’t let it happen--!” “Let me finish,” MonoMech continues. “Leave Ken with me, and the rest of you can leave the school. If you refuse this, then tomorrow, uncover the identity of yours truly,” he points to himself. “If you do this, then the five of you -- and perhaps one of your other classmates -- can also leave.” “One of our other classmates…?” Nakata asks. … “Here’s how this’ll work. Ken doesn’t vote. The four of you: Isamu Shiomi, Kimie Tomori, Madoka Nakata, Kiyo Azama vote. If even one of you chooses to leave Ken behind, then the rest of you can leave. Easy, right?” “W-What?” Shiomi asks. “We can...leave? But we’d have to leave Ken behind…? Why? What do you want with him?” “Well, if you think about it, this is all his fault,” MonoMech explains. “If he had picked up on Satoshi, or had figured out what Rai was scheming, this could’ve been avoided, right?” “That’s not fair,” Tomori says. He’s...right, though. This is all my fault. “Tomori...please. This is your chance to get out of here--! Don’t be selfish.” She looks back to me. “Selfish…? You don’t get to say that--! You’re taking the easy way out.” “Maybe so…” “I refuse,” she says. “I won’t leave Rabbit behind. I beg the rest of you to do the same. Please.” “Tomori…” Azama mumbles. “I-I agree with her!” Shiomi exclaims. “It’s not right to leave Ken with this burden. If I...didn’t accuse him about being the traitor, maybe I could’ve stopped this. I was so desperate. But now I can make this right. I can’t--no, not that I can’t--I won’t leave. We still have to form that band!” “So…?” He turns to MonoMech. “I refuse. My vote is to stay.” Azama and Nakata look to one another. “Please...leave me, guys. I-I want you guys to escape.” “I want to leave too,” Azama says. “But...we’ve all lost so much. I don’t want to lose anything else.” “The four of you could get help and come back for me. Don’t risk yourself--!” “There’s’ no guarantee, Ku-chan,” Azama says. “There’s no guarantee that they won’t hurt you or...worse.” “I...want to be with Rai. With Yuka. It’s okay--let me go.” “N-No--!” she yells. “I...won’t do it! I know that if I leave you here and something happens I’ll regret it--! I’m staying.” No--! Why don’t you guys get it? I’ve...got one last chance. I turn to Nakata. “Please, Nakata. You understand, right?” She shakes her head. “I don’t.” “You know it best. I’m useless. I can’t help anybody. You guys can...can finally leave. Isn’t that what you guys wanted?! Please--just leave me!” “Why are you so desperate to stay?” “I…” I pause, and feel myself go numb. I...want to die. I still do. “I just want you guys to be safe,” I mumble. “Is that so bad.” “Yes it is…!” Tomori exclaims. “Then, sorry,” Nakata mumbles. “I’m doing what’s best.” “Nakata…?” Shiomi asks. “Don’t...don’t you dare--!” Azama exclaims. “Nakata, please,” I say. “Do it. You know it’s right.” “Don’t do it,” Tomori grumbles. “I’ll kill both of you myself--!” ...that’s what I want. “What…?” Oh, did I say that out loud? “I’m staying,” Nakata randomly says. “If you’ve all decided to stay, then I can’t go against it. Majority rules.” Nakata...why…?! “Interesting,” MonoMech says. “Then, get a good night’s rest! Tomorrow the final class trial will start!” With that, MonoMech left, and the five of us stood in silence. “There’s...really not many of us left,” Shiomi says, looking around, before his eyes fall on Tomori and me. “Now what?” “We need to uncover the mastermind--the person who trapped us here,” Nakata says. “To do that, we need to be in our right state of minds.” Azama forces herself to smile. “So...so...it’ll all be over tomorrow?” Tomori nods. “That’s what it sounds like.” “I...don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep tonight,” Shiomi admits. “I feel sick, and there’s this knot in my stomach just thinking about it.” “Maybe I’ll play you a song,” Azama says. “What’s more soothing than a nice violin piece?” “Don’t you have to sleep, too?” he asks. “It’ll help calm me,” she says. “It’s a win-win.” “Ah, I see,” Shiomi says. “In that case...good night everyone.” “It’s not even six yet,” Nakata mumbles looking at the clock. “We’ve got time to...talk.” “I don’t think any of us are really in the mood,” Azama says. “It’s...too much, right now.” Nakata nods. “Ah, I see. I’m sorry.” “We’ll be off then,” Shiomi mumbles, and with that, they walk off. Nakata soon left, too, and Tomori’s gaze stayed with Satoshi’s body. Tears stained her cheeks. “It may be selfish of me, Rabbit, and I’m sorry. But...I can’t lose you, too. I’ve...never cared about anyone the way I cared about you or Satoshi. So...so you’re with me until the end.” “I’m sorry, Tomori. I’m so, so sorry--!” “Don’t be, Rabbit. Satoshi made his choice. Whoever held us here had something over him, and he did what he could given the circumstances. I couldn’t have been prouder of that kid.” She shakes her head. “Well, Rabbit. We can talk about our feelings later. We should focus for tomorrow’s trial...unless you need to talk about Kitoaji?” I just stare at the back of her head. “No. No, I’ll be fine.” That was a lie, though. When I found myself back in my room, I was a complete fucking mess. I didn’t cry, no, but I spent hours staring at my ceiling trying to just--just trying to think of anything that wasn’t Rai. I can’t think about anything right now. If I do, I’ll break down. I can’t. I can’t be weak anymore. Everyone...everyone sacrificed their freedom for me. I have to prove myself. After the nighttime announcement played, there was a steady knock on my door. … I don’t wanna answer it, but… I got up and slowly trudged to the door. I swiftly opened it, and, there I was, face-to-face with Nakata. I instinctively backed jumped backwards, and I could see the shock in her face when I did so. “Hey,” she says, tugging on her sleeve. “Can I come in?” No. I nod, and soon enough she gently walks past me. It was...weird. She seemed tender, almost, as she sat on my bed. “Are you okay, Ken?” “What do you care?” I ask. “You--you made yourself clear. Why didn’t you just LEAVE. I thought you were the one person I could count on.” “I’d never leave you behind,” she seethed. “What kind of person do you think I am?” “I don’t know--I don’t know who you are--!” She shrugs her shoulders, and pats the bed next to her. “I just figured I’d check up on you after everything. Losing Kitoaji was hard enough, but finding out Satoshi was a childhood friends must’ve been...difficult.” I steadily sit next to her, and I feel myself shrink next together. I’m...still scared of her. “I don’t see why it matters to you.” “You matter to me, that’s why,” she says, and before I can protest, she pulled me close to her. It was like a deathgrip, except it was...strangely warm and comforting. “I’m...sorry for leaving you alone. I was lost.” No--! Don’t say shit like that--! I...can’t handle it. “You can cry, Ken.” “N-No--I can’t be weak. I can’t be weak anymore. It’s all my fault.” “Crying isn’t a sign of weakness. It just means you haven’t lost yourself.” “It’s all my fault they’re gone--! I could’ve saved everyone, Nakata--!” “No...you couldn’t.” “Ye-Yes--I co-could--!” Her grip tightened around me, and I tried to protest, but...I ended up just sobbing. It was ugly. I sobbed and sobbed into Nakata’s shoulder, and she just stayed with me. She sat there silently, her arms wrapped around me. “How--how could they be so selfish and leave me all alone…?!” “You’re not alone. I’m here. Tomori’s here. Azama and Shiomi wouldn’t leave you behind, either. You have all of us.” “But--but--!” “It’s okay, Ken. We won’t leave you. It’ll all be over tomorrow.” …! The faces of everyone we lost burned into my mind. Yosano. Tani. Mio. Shiho. Sasada. Saishi. Obinata. Yuka. Nakamoto. Rai. Satoshi. This isn’t just to get out of here, it’s to avenge them too. To make their deaths mean something. I...can’t give up. I just have to...fight one more day. … C-Can we do it? That night, we found ourselves in the pitch-black forest, with our eyes glued to what looked like some underground private school. That’s where our classmates had been taken, and damn--! There are more guards than we thought. Can we even do this?! Tomori, Rai, and I were grouped together, meanwhile Obinata and Mi-chan was with Nakamoto and Yuka, getting into a flanking position. “Stay down,” Tomori mumbles, holding a pitch-black pistol close to her chest. “T-That’s a lot of people,” Rai whispers. I gripped my rifle tight. I’m use to shooting guns, but...killing?! I’ve never killed anyone before and I definitely don’t want to start, now! The nerves and my anxiety were getting to me, and, I can’t even blame it all on that. Part of it was because of Rai, who rested next to me. They were already tired, and all we did was run up the mountain--there’s no way Rai can keep up with us--! And I’ll be damned if I’ve gotta leave you behind...I’d never. Rai pants, gripping my free hand with theirs. “I’m sorry. This was--this was a bad idea. I wanted to be the hero.” “You’ll forever be my personal hero,” I sigh. “Are you mad at me?” “You shouldn’t have come--!” “Stop the fighting,” Tomori harshly whispers. “Why the fuck do I have to babysit you two immature fucks. Go back home and finger--” Both Rai and I let go of each other to cover Tomori’s mouth. “Please don’t finish that thought.” After a few seconds, Rai giggles softly and silently to themself. We take our hand away from Tomori’s mouth, who mumbles something gross and goes back to being on lookout, and Rai nuzzles their head in my chest. “Whatever happens, I’m glad I came. If I stayed with Satoshi and Ko-chan I’d probably be pacing and so, so, so, so scared!” Rai… ...me too. I don’t want to be without you. Ever. Staring into Rai’s eyes, I felt the want to go in for a kiss. But, it’d almost feel like it’d be a kiss goodbye, and--I wouldn’t set myself up for that. “What’re they--!” Tomori’s voice called to us, and almost instantly, gunfire was heard. I let go of Rai and immediately ran next to Tomori. “What…?!” “It’s Obinata’s group,” she says. “Something must’ve went wrong, we need to move now.” I nod, and I turn to face Rai. “Are you okay…?” “I’m fine!” Rai exclaims, still panting. “I’ll stay here, I’ll be okay!” “But--!” “It’s now or never, dumbass,” Tomori says, and before I can react, she had moved from her spot. F-Fuck! “Don’t move, I’ll be right back, Rai--!” Rai nods. “I love you.” “I love you, too.” Category:Anguish & Desire Category:Anguish & Desire Chapters